Jah Suhm Tings
Don’t call it a comeback, ive been here for days,
Been layin low, keepin my song silent in so many ways,
Coastin on this ride, gliding on this wire
Whinin to the chief, reason has yet to inspire
Sorry I havent posted inna yiddle yit, been busy with
the better things, but I been keepin it real. I like to apologize to mah boy Eebs and my sista Ash’ms cause they be numero uno fans of my hanus site, and for their loyalty and utter devotion to me, I am grateful. Don’t know why im so tired right now, but im kinda stickin to this leather chair and its startin to smell somethin fierce.
Speakin of smellin somethin fierce, howzza bout Eebs sportin the lobster-smellin new ride. Thats right bitches, Matthew Ebert jus bought his very first car, is it sick you ask? Is it sexy? Does it melt in your mouth? Does it fit in your hand? Neh my friends, well…it is sexy, and sick and it does melt in your mouth, but that thing I said about it fitting in your hand, well…that was jus mindless slander. For that I apologize… Anyhoo, Eeb’s ride has many-a-perks, for example, premium boston acoustics soundsystem, with a 10 disc CD changer in the rear, right were my boy Eebs loves it. Its got automatic everything EVEN WINDOWS, and heres the killer…are you ready? For the killer? Ok enough warning here it is…Martha fawking SEAT WARMERS!. Are they good? They ask me..are they good? Well my friends let my expression speak for itself. Sweet ride Eebs
Yeah, did I mentioni hafta go to summa school? No im not takin advanced classes to broaden my horizons, no im not getting a headstart on the lil bitches behind me, no sir, for you see…I am the little bitch behind YOU. Let my GPA speak for itself. So I guess Harvard can wait. But summer schools a drag man, no matter what way you look at it, everyone there speaks tongan, everyone is packin WAY more heat than I am, and..for me…2(3x + 5 -17x) + 34 – 3x still equals I DONT GIVE A SHIT even in the summer, so…you can take that juris-my-diction garbage, and cram it up your ass.
If ya notice in the runs section, there havent been any updates since Bay to Breakers, the reason for this, is that I havent been runnin with my dad, and hes the camera man, so…I go solo. I run everyday, around CSM, sometimes a few times, take the backroads home, and go wee wee wee all the way home. Man oh man, I tell ya what though, my feet still have the dead layers of skin that were hangin off my foot around mile 6 of the Bay to Breakers. Nastee.. Luckily I got these lil puppies that give my lil piggies a well deserved break, yes indeed. Yes…indeed.
One more thing before I go, I have been keepin my ear to the wall lately and may I jus say…Velvet Revolver you rock my fuckin world. In case ya dint know, these guys are Guns ‘n Roses without the ego / Axl Rose. And in case you really dint know, GNR totally rocked, and they rock even more without the glittery diva / Axl Rose holdin em back. Its great stuff. Slash still knows how to work it and that cigarette still never manages to fall out of lips no matter how hard he bangs his head. Slash is a true pimp.
Paco’s Days
Pac man, where has the time gone? Three days have come and past, sucks the shit that today had to be our last. Hope you had an ok time stayin herr wiff, I hope the east wing of my estate suited you adequetly. So lets recap our day:
Woke up, at like..noon? I don’t know, maybe that was jus me. 😛 We met up with Leo. Cody strolls in my room and shares his word of the day with me. I happen to disagree with it however, and scolded him harshly. Leo agreed with me and had a little sit down with Sir Paco. Needless to say, Leo was disgusted with Cody’s behavior! Leo had to leave early cause he had a baseball game to lose against Burlingame, sad but true. Dawkness can through a ball though, ya damn right…better than yours..
Anyway, afters Leos tearful departure, Cody and I had the urge for metal. So I pack my axe and we head over to Ebert’s pad. Now anyone who has ever heard me and Ebert play in the same room will tell you he rocks my shit way hardcore-er than me. And he looks lika fucking stud when he plays too, and yes ladies, hes free…very free.
And den, after the rockin was through we got to pingin the pong. It was fun. We practiced safe pinging above all. Eebs watched in horror as I continued to embarass Cody and ping the shit out of his pong. I hope that one day I can achieve the same kind of Ping Pong stardom that Matthew Ebert has achieved. I asked him about the methods to his ping ponging mayhem, he left me with: “Keep it clean”.
Cody and I than were homeward bound, I hopped..
Cody gimped. And den we got home and met up with OH GOOD GOLLY miss Molly. We had malice on the mind and our mind on the CD players we planned on hitting with baseball bats. But I insisted that I get to drive Molly said no because I was a “liability” whatever that means :P. She hits like a sheep anyway. haha jussss kidding Miss Molly. You can still that bendy thing WAY better than I can. Anyway, it was hella windy and my insane hair kept blowin in my face, so I asked Cody if he had a hair tye, but apparently he didn’t this time, so I hadta mooch one offa Molly again. Aint that a kick in the face? Yeh, and Molly swung atta pinecomb. Cody swung at that lil container of lime juice. Oh yeah, than we went in the tunnel
Yeh so after we hit alla dat shiot, we went back inside where Miss Molly challenged me to a battle of the bending, a flex-off, a dousche duel! Physically Molly and I are very much alike, each of us are about 5’3″ give or take and I too went all-state for my cheerleading skills, but she jus has a lil more experience in the field of flexibility. But ya know…I still hella won. And that was that :D.
So than everyone left, and it was jus me and Paco again, and it was time for the main event. Since it was Cody’s last night in the state, I thought I should give him the rubdown with some California love and some California Cookin. He and I ate the following:
>>Triple Decker graham crackers with peanut butter in the middle with whip cream slopped all over.
>>Wootermelon
>>Finger
>>Pizza and Ice Cream
>>Whip Cream
>>More of those graham cracker things
>>More wootermelon
>>Paco Pie
Yeah if your still with me, after readin all that shiot and lookin at all that shiot, Sign this petition to get free period back in high school!!
Drivin in Cars with Bradies
Imagine the most uneasy facial expression conceivable, and thats what I’ve been doin for a day and a half after I sorta…kinda…was..did uh…kinda hit the garage door comin out and busted the mirror. I parked it in the garage fine, but uh..I was pullin out to straghten it out, and its not like I have shitloads of confidence cause I don’t even drive that much I was goin slower than her, I dented the shit a bittle lit too. God dammit so lame. I’ll pay for it, so I guess I really am gonna getta job this summer. Shiot.
Iowanna think about it 😛 Anyway, got my main mayonaise Paco be stayin herr ferr a few days. Saying Paco is a good man is an understatement, this cat digs bueno tunes, this cat says I have the room of all rooms, and this cat has the same razor as me! Mach3 Turbo aint fo no fools. Pimps shave alike :D. Oh and he was lovin my massive music collection, so he was burnin dem discs very very hard. Oh and I’m hopin me and him can go out by the college and hit some CD players with bats. I’ll be sure to film it.
Yeah and the other day we had like 12 people visiting the site at the same time, I think thats a record :D. Some kids from Afganistan sent me this.
Yeh this is a shitty post ill do betta tommorow.
Got up, Stood Up
Rode in Joe’s sexy, sexy Camaro, lovin that sweet eye candy
its true that automobile is one sweat piece of ass, but its no Randy
smellin the soul of a true cuban stick,
Joe repeating himself again and again, made me call him a prick
Its true, Big Joe himself showed his ass up at my place and tossed me in his hoe on wheels, with the promise of good cruisin. Glided across the pave to Medium Joe’s house. Now I know most of you have no idea who im talkin about, but Medium Joe is the dude who came to school on the last day sportin the pimp ass silk suit, with the slick top hat and all that shiz. David Lorraine there tambien, jus another chill ass bia to add to my book. mmm hmm. Good times.
Last day of school was yessaday, I took pics, I took no shit, I took the day off, and I took sugah wiff me :D. Got me a pic with myrussian buddies, got me a pic wiff my sugah, ate the green, and got in between with Grande Joe, that lil pimp alex sanchez almost consumed my camera, I got quality time with the roach, I got actual molage, I mean footage of my spanish teacher and the unborn fetus on her face, I got down with Mr. Terry and I got my PINK SLIP, yeh das right bitches, ill be drivin on your mommas bumper perty soon.
So that was than, today is today, and know what I did tooday? I slept. Till noon, and than I hit the snoozer and slept lika boozer till 2, woke up a lil groggy and thought about what I wanted to do. Dig the rhyme another time :D. You have no idea how much watermelon I have consumed today…and ya know they make that shit seedless now? Wowzers meng…I bet its all genetically…”enhanced” watch me acquire the ability to turn into any fruit I want or something…crazy…Yeh And than Cahill shows up sportin his bumpin ride. Yeh boiii, than he shows me this shit that was hiding in the trunk! Shit son, you could dry your clothes on somethin like that..or..have..bean races.Yessir…bean races..
Funny pictures:
Talented Rodents – Compton Ass Ride – Asian Kid Eater – Fat Man onna boat…with…hand ears – Hardcore Monster Porn – Nick Brady and Leo Grill III – Monkey Luvahs – Tard Ref – Angry Ogars – not so super when hes under my tire – Randy as a child.
Oh and I updated the photos section, and I plan on updating the site more cause its summer, or maybe I’ll update it less whoooo knowsss. Also, I want sommore gerd affiliates so if your interested be sure to e-mail me at [email protected]. Laters players.