Who Is Mike Jones?
Pretty fat rager party at my crib this last weekend, my humble abode, packed, like a fat man in a very small jacket, blubber bursting out of the zipper. chics in tight jeans, a guy who eatscool beans, and two more pairs of jeans. Liquid was scarce at this particular function, Joe managed to find a dilute drink to satisfy his mangina. I looked on. Jazz flute and Smirnoff Twist are for little…fairy…boys. Quoted. Ruff managed to smuggle in some shit from China, some shit from China that came from a exceptionally large can. Perhaps you noticed this photo, that was the gruesome aftermath of this event ( 4.1 mb ) . So remember kids, don’t try to smash a huge can on your dome unless you want a big stupid facial laceration. Always wear protection. Be careful when using that rubber rope thing that is capable of whipping the eyeball out of your eyeball socket. Don’t touch momma’s reaching stick. When all else fails, jus chill with your home dog.
Speakin of that crazy rottweiler / German shepard of mine…We dressed her up. As a bumble bee, as batman, and the devil too. Now how many of you can you spent a Thursday evening dressing up your peach miniature poodle in not jus one but three cute lil outfits? Go on…raise your hands.
So aside from keeping you up to date with my affairs as a high school senior, I decided to bring back all the old photos from my Freshman and Sophomore year and compile them into one conveniant folder. This one, this folder right here baby, the new home to more than a lot of photos that spell out the life in the times, the struggles, the good times, the lack of short term memory, and the good times. Take this old one of Randy for examplehe had three slices of pizza in his grill, at that time. That’s pretty marvelous. Member that day we rocked the stashes before we could grow our own? Member the hoes? Member when I chugged all that robotussin and my head got all weird? How bout when my upstairs neighbor left his water on and flooded my house so the fire deptartment came to bust open his door. Dramatic. Jus check em out.
And don’t think I forgot to mention the CURRENT school pics, these bad boys right here. The one of hoisting up a random freshman ( obviously I dint learn shit from Natalie ) and obviously that freshman wasn’t random if she was Ash’ms lil sissy poo. Poptart kicks the hump of a thousand camels when he directs traffic in the morning, for that I applaud him. I dislike rolly backpacks for the simple fact that they obstruct my path which requires the utmost space to accomodate my lengthy strides. I DO like the guy on the left, I mean hes got it down, I wanna take him to lunch. I despice being in the company of people taller than I, so when I get the apportunity to stand beside my good friend Shell Fish, I don’t pass it up.
So thats all for now, I have a job interview tommorow for some little computer networking company in Redwood City, if you were that one armless girl I would ask you cross your fingers but…ya know. As you probably noticed I tweaked the CSS of the photo gallery and cleaned up the video section a bit. Thats jus the beginning. Bitches.
– Stewie Griffin Soundboard
– Rocky Re-Enactment
– Watermelon Art
– NBHQ Myspace
The Fair & The Puppy
No, Tina hasn’t squeezed out any little ones lately, but I did look after a little puppy poodle / cockerspaniel / shitsu this weekend, quite a task to undertake. The little cockapooshit is only a couple weeks old and it’s still nameless, but after it pissed in my girls mouth, I was considering Robert Kelly. Other than that lil incident, the little blacky was quite a hit with the ladies, she wooed Ash and serenaded Em. I was cool with her, she bit the skin on my neck a buncha times, which was a little less than pleasent but who could get mad at a face like this. Long / cute story short, me mum and I are both allergic to the lil mutt so we kicked her little button nose to the curb. That’s the end of that chapter.
Ahhh the annual San Mateo County Fair, home of the footlong corn hunk of ass on a stick, the triangle basketball rim game, and a bunch of cracked out carnies. Now I’ve missed out on a couple years of the local festivities, and from the looks of things, I’ve really been missin out. Shit I done went two nights in a row it was so hoppin! First night with my lovely gal pal, second night with the boys. Thirdly I write full sentences. Beautiful assortment of bovine at the livestock exhibit this time around, not to mention the pork hopefuls, I couldn’t resist reaching down to pet one of the lil oinkers, Eebs preferred his little pony. Meanwhile, Joe was gettin fresh with the ginormous stuffed bunny in the middle of nothing outside. We tried hustlin the hustlers but failed miserably and lost at least 5 bucks a piece on dumbshit carny games. I tried feverishly tryin to win my girl some second rate piece of plush, but the greasy rock fiend carny mocked my efforts. Joe dropped another 10 bills on the most mutant lump of chicken I’ve ever seen on a stick that could barely support the weight. Take notice to the creamy citrusy beverage in his left hand, purchased due to my influence, if you recognize this cup of goodness as an Orange Julius, I wish to be your friend. Orangue Julius’ kick ass.
I’m finally makin hella progess on the new layout, I wanna release before September, no promises, my birthday is on Thursday, should be crackin. Stay tuned, bitches.
– Put your mouse over the gals
– 3 Second Pop Tarts?
– Bigass Fish
– Mythbot
– Lamest Black Metal Pics/a>
– My weekend car
All In The Family
So I attended a little family get together at my aunts in Watsonville, nothin like a counter full of apetizers to attract a gang of feisty Italians. Was great seein my wonderful gramma with her trendy green lid, my uncle with his statuesque shape (standing 6’4″) and his affinity for lounge chairs, the birthday girl herself, the chihuahua and the rest of the bright-eyed bunch. Were a pretty big family, both in numbers, and midriff circumference but I’m proud as hell to stand beside em. Besides, my Zia make a damn good chocolate cake, down to the last candle. Theres more pics in the gallery
I’ve been hangin with the infamous E+A lately ( That’s Emily and Ashley to you ), schwimmin in the pool, throwing them around and what not. Goin with “E” to the “Y”, it’s all good times havin a 80 pound girl spottin me on the bench :P. Anyway, heres what the E+A look like in the shower and here’s after I took the pic. Snootchy bootchy!
School starts in less than a em effin week, and senior portraits are tommorow, aint that a kick in the head? If I’m lucky and on top of things I should see a ’93 Toyota Celica parked outside my house if I can organize the trek to go pick it up in Brentwood a handfull of hours away. The next post will be beefier.
Title of Post Goes Here
Spent the last couple days in Tahoe again with my lovely girlfriend eatin filet mignon and ridin wave runners, no biggy. We met up with Ash’ms and the rest of her family, and their big nice boat, with two big nice tubes. Tubing was damn fun. Than we upped the antee a bit and busted out the wakeboard. At which point, Ash, Julia, and Danny Boy made me appear in the lamest of ways. I’m not gonna even try to lie, me and gravity arent the best of friends and “graceful” is not a word I would use to describe myself as, espcially when it comes to getting my sasquatch-ass feet inside the footholes made for ordinary humans. When we were through, we stumbled upon a crawdad or two, they’re big, and scared the crawpoop outta julia. Anyway, more steak and cake was eatin and Danny and I failed at giving Julia a dirty sanchez.
Sidekicks are rediculously stupid, however, obscene 3-fingered gestures are not. Pinky should start of his clothing line, one that sells shants exclusively. The crew, more than 20 men strong, ( 40 balls in all ) gathered at the 5 story after most partook in acts not looked fondly upon by college boards and federal authorities, our good friend Umpy was feeling a little “under the weather” and sought sweet relief as he violently hurled mouthful after moutful of the substances that had nauseated the lad. I honestly cannot explain the vileness of the situation, watching the “upchuck” trickle down the side of the 5 story parking garage, floor after floor like a little barf slinky, each chunk glistening in the late night moon light…Nasty
Holy Cannoli we missed the Italian Festival this year! A major blowit indeed, prolly serves me right for thinkin I could walk there in time with good ol Ian. POR QUEEEEEE?! And aint that a kick in the head, seein all those lil one-time-a-year stands closin shop, the orange julius knockoff stand, the pina kowlada in a pineapple stand, and runnin into bro Jared. For shame. The day was salvaged after a visit to La Cumbre ( best burritos in the world ). The night began with a downtown stroll, and yes it is very cool havin a buddy in the motion picture biz, all flicks should be free.99. We had a run-in with the now chain-smoking Aaron at a different taqueria ( that has the best horchatas ). Joe got off work soon after and they were lickin the cold stone walls and drooling at its female employees. Anyway, the horchata was tossed and I got to come home to this, no complaints.
School starts soon, my birthday is the 25th, I’ll whip up another layout or somethin. I’m selling my computer. My room looks amazing thanks to E & A. The next post will be better.