Batman Returns

After recieving some serious R&R up in Tahoe with this girl, this caped crusader broke out the ‘ol $50 dollar, once worn, already ripping batman costume and barely picked up Joe (and apparently damn near cried in the process.) Our destination was Geoff’s place for the dress starting with a “B” party, which was elbow to elbow, boob to boob with scantily clad womens. There was a bumble bee who couldn’t resist my honey. I cracked open a brewski with my buddy ‘ol pal, meanwhile Christa’s in the kitchen failing miserably at trying to suckle away at the sweet coors light nectar. I ushered some youngins out the door with my massive meat stick. ENZYTE FTW! There was also a lil munchkin who thought he could jus slip in the festivities unannounced and stealthily. WRONG! Threw his ass out, and then Christa & Amanda jacked his license plate, the munchkin was less than pleased. Cops came later after maximum occupancy was reached and exceeded. All in all…good times. Big ups Geoffrey.

Matt Malchow. If Matt Malchow were a president, he’d be Babeberham Lincoln, if he were a dinosaur…Babe-o-saraus-Rex. I love this kid more than showers! He’s my boy for all times! I wanna have his and his towels with this kid. Anywhoo I have had the pleasure of kickin it at his pad the past few nights, spending time with these characters, and getting better acquainted with the infamous Labern and of course, plenty of Malchow. Ian’s homo erotic encounter of the night included frenching Matts solar plexus in a drunken homo stupor, it was such a release for Ian that he konked out right there on the floor, Malchow was so traumatized he took a shit on the coffee table.

The night proceeding, the same crew + new additions gathered around the table and spoke boisterous drunken fables, it’s not exact but I can aproximate that at least 47 thousand cigarettes were smoked during that 30 minute span sitting around that table, and as I type this now, feeling the second-hand tar stick to my lungs like day-old oatmeal, it was worth it cause I was with my buddy Malchow.

I’ve been doing some behind the scenes upgrades to the site as you may have noticed, like the Possibly Related Post feature which, at the end of every post, shows 3 similar posts that you might be into. I enabled Gravatars that show up as little pictures next to your COMMENTS that you should always be leaving. I also implemented a skin switching system that allows you to change NBHQ.NET’s look and feel with jus a single click. Expect more upgrades and posts daily.

One For the Road.

It’s 3:00 AM. I am leaving for Tahoe in less than 7 hours, but I thoought I owed it to my legion of readers to pinch out one more post before the long journey. Now bare with me, I sweated out most of my creative juices in my hot ass batman getup, which I am way to ashamed to tell you how much I paid for… But you’ll be seeing me in a lot I’m hoping. I’m pretty sure that it was my first ever theme party, and this one was “famous couples”, as you could probably already tell, I came dipped as the caped crusader, and my significant other came adorned in a feline fitted attire, we kinda matched? By the way, it’s hard work carving out an upper body like that. As expected, we shit on all the other costumes, especially Thomas, what the fuck was he supposed to be? And then this, gay pride week doesn’t have rollover days homes. EPan. & CPan. get the second place trophy for the Paris & Nikki Hilton costumes. Sluttiness not included. I’m not sure what Alexa was, but…together we formed a turtle and she was the shell.

Combined, I think these guys were a smore, or a…yeh i dont know… Here we have the obligatory party butt shot in all its glory and… the pimp shot. And HERE we have the highlight pic of the night. Big ups to Meg for throwin the damn thing.

Sold Party

Well apparently this was a three-day extravangza thing that was goin on at Sam’s place, kind of like woodstock without all the mud and STDs (that I was unaware of until day three). If the two nights preceeding where any indicator on what I missed out on than I’ll slap my own ass cause there were fires, booze and tots. Plus Brad was there and was probably lookin for this all night. I don’t really know what the deal was with the “sold” sign, I think I can figure out how they got it though. Heres Christa’s bush. And heres me as a NORTE!!! or am I scrapper rapper. Who knows. That was pretty much the party…I think I stole someones bike that was laying in the bushes and rode it up the street, which was better than any warm beer.

Asides from bike jacking and sign stealing I have done my best to cool out with the brothers, car loads of em. Tonight I attend a hopefully bitchin theme party that I shall be sure to snap shots of, I intend on defecating on the competition when I come dipped in my flyest caped crusader outfit. Tomorrow I embark on a 2-week vaca with this girl to Tahoe so don’t expect a post for a sec bitches. Heres some links to hold you over:

• 50 worst video games EVER
• Jackass 2
• Fatties stay away from copiers
• Bicycle Driftz0rs
• Scary truth about scientology
• Big Bugs

Sexy Seven Fiesta

“Beer before liquor, never been sicker” was the theme that seemed to prevail over this eventful and chunks-filled night. It was to be a celebration of the Sexy Seven, a septuple group of elite females who each posess there own unique bit of sultriness and spice. The damn thing was thrown by none other than K-Dubb & Adam while it was held at casa de la A-Ryda. The night progressed through a blurry gradient for those who chose to abuse liquid substances and a series of colorful ripples for those who chose the inhalable substances. We played some dumbass drinking game in which you hold up a finger for everything you have done for example, in this pic Matty is holding up two fingers denoting that he has both received and performed a rim job. I brought my my pimp hat which really seemed to do the trick. Near halfway into the festivities, the liquor took hold and I summonded some of my super sloshed strength to hoist up some chicolitas and get a little man ass on the couch. This pic shall always warrant a giggle. Heres a dramaization of how I did at the party overall. FAILURE. Ash’ms got gum in Joe’s dew so then we went outside to talk about how it made us feel, twas an emo moment an a somber, bittersweet end to a crazy alcohol ridden night. This Irishman has learned his life lesson. All apologies to those who caught a hairy glimpse of my coinslot arse hole while I leaned on Amanda’s fence for moral support.