Loo WOW – Last Dance Ever.
And so once again I have experienced another “last”, never again will I go dumb in a gymnasium, or on a lawn, or anywhere on my high school campus. No one will ever hear my thunderous stomps put dents in the dancefloor, no one will ever feel me crush their toes the midst of a slow jam, the luau was it, and if you didn’t go, ya missed it. Time has passed, friendships grown, and sustained, I am still confident in my abilities to grab the womens these days, and yesterdays. I have but two words of advice to share with the incoming seniors reguarding the luau dance:
I tried my best to fool people into thinking I had hips and any remote control over their movement but still managed to fail miserably in contrast to this lovely couple of vivacious vixens.
Meg got her tongue pierced, she wouldn’t let me touch it, I told her my priest says its natural, but I accept that she has different views and I guess we can hold off on the tongue touching. The cracked out expressions must continue though.
So I’m a sweaty bastard, notice my facial perspiration after hopping around for a few minutes trying to pass it off as dancing. Now check out these scary motherfuckers Martin rockin a god damn trenchcoat in the god damn sahara desert climated gym. Wanna run into that mother at the 711? He’ll kill your ass then send his dog to come eat your face off.
Misty Mountain Hop
The bro Eebs lumbered over to my pad and scooped me into his grand jeep vehicle with hungry with an apetite for the outdoors. We cruised 4-wheeled skyline till we spotted a trail that seemed to present an ample challenge and proceeded to conquer it for the next 2 hours or so. Advice: Do not attempt to wear sandles while attempting to hike. Over the course of our adventure Matty and I came across the guy that does the Geico commercials, den I picked em up and Matty rubbed his belly, felt kinda like a wet fat kid might. So like I said, around two hours; against the elements, and at their mercy all the way my cold and exposed toes would have surely detached and regroup in my throat in a strangle attempt had they the chance. But you know me, I keep my appendages in check. Anyway, manly pictures were takin, us with our walking sticks (not visible due to shrinkage affect). My final words on that matter with Matty: twas a good time that beckons a sequel that will be posted and photographed. G’times Matty Boy.
I spend my weekends with dudes. That’s my story lately, I think I might play that gay card except when it comes down to the cooking and my skills or lack thereof , that and the boobs and da heiny. I also enjoy singing.
Heres a picture of Josef after his cocaine snort, it might have been powdered sugar though, we’re looking into it, either way his puny balls could not handle the sensation. Ian spilled V-juice on the chair cushion, and you can probably guess what happend next…Joe lapped it up like a kitty and her lil milk saucer, cept less cute and more alcoholicy. Joe makes funny faces after he sips on his potent oil as apparent here and meow. I tend to look more like this.
We are the responcible lads and take to the streets as opposed to vehicular transportation, nor do we operate heavy machinery, cept for our penises, which are unbelieveably large and heavy. Joe got stuck under an overpass kinda like a retarded mosquito catcher who finds his way into your bathroom while your taking a shower and than melts on your ceiling.
Ey, ey resemblance? compare dis, with dis.
Joe pissed outside McDonalds, and I laughed accordingly. Then a mysterious woman in a truck came and stuck it in the arse of Joe causing a little bit of hurl to climb up my esophagus, no biggy. The night ended back at my pad with some old times NES Action and some
Pussy Fights
– NEW TOURETTES GUY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
– Juggernaut Video : CLASSIC
– Kind of a crappy double guitar solo
– EmoBlogs
– Bass Solo
– Simply Tickling
Cops & Robbers
Surely, you are acquainted with the host with the most, Mr Fuckin Beck, knowin how to throw the show and have a shitload of goers in attendance. Everyone from Mos Def, the main Marcus, to my newest buddy was there, fuck, J-boy even came with his boy Keg, root beer of course. Nothin like good ol keg juice to get things movin, and movin, and humpin. Hip hop anonymous was outside, spittin with the keg, Pinkylayin the beat, orally of course. Pool was played on the same table women danced upon, how’s that for a good time?
Thizz hour; we circled the surface of billiards, it began with with a face like he smelled some piss, an expression than passed on to Eebs, and finally onto yours truly. By Thizz hour, everyone had just about drowned their livers in sweet, sweet brew juice, causing unprovoked protruding of the tongue, followed by further humping.
So, me, Laus & Pinky were in charge of sifting out the riff-raff and randoms that had slipped in under the radar, kinda hard when theres a fuckload of people. I did what any jolly green giant would do and grabbed the nearest elongated cucumber and came out a-swingin. As enforcing as me and my cucumber might have seemed, my tiny, tiny balls prevented me from sayin a damn thing to this guy, but then again Pinky ate and shit out this guy; we big, we bad.
I made some new fans that night, hell I even scored a pic with this cool chic, and of course, I said hey to my number one fan himself and six foot sixteen twin. Thank you for my time Brendon Beck, thank you.
– ****Jordan’s Comcast Spoof****
– Glow in the Dark Beer
– More Paper Art
– Gutted Xbox 360
– Old Tyson Video
– Asshole Mom of the Year Award
Homecoming Week Comes to An End
I went to the last homecoming dance I will ever attend as a student of Aragon High School, and it was good. It was real good. Aside from not being able to hear a damn track bein played, and some overactive sweat glands I had myself a time; I mean, for shits sake, look who I got to go with. Look my momma went with. I definately should’ve taken way more shots but I had my hands full. Everyone came lookin extra sharp, Fejj eats style for breakfast, the Crawford bros looked like they smelled some piss, and dawkness was as black as he ever was. Michelle stepped on a staple with her bare foot, so I’m sure that was not particularly enjoyable.
Mike Clink was kind enough to drop an invite my way for a afterparty at the Marriot. I had heard whispers of the <100 lb Danny yakkin out of his nose after his introduction to smirnoff twist, so of course I was more than intrigued. The whispers proved true, Dannyboy was indeed, fucked the fuck up, which didn’t shock me cause D-boy is a wee lad, but what he lacks in height he makes up for in stature. Twas a chill afterspot indeed. Big ups to Mike.
Pre-homecoming party was hosted by none other than my main dude Thomas, and god damn we had ourselves a rumpus, singin sweet cheers, readin fuckin stories, and brewin orange in a pot. I pulled a Brady and went and picked Jill up, a nasty habit for someone who has a nastier habit of dropping people. Jared is a tease. There was one room in particular that would put Smokey the Bear into a fit, and it wasn’t from marshmallow schmokin but for the most part we all got our kicks off of the liquids flowin round the pad mixed with the eversweet strum of Eeb’s fight riffs it was enough to put Jill to bed. Anyway.
Rally Day. Twas a cold and crispy day, but due to my uncanny ability to perspire in sub-zero temperatures I handed over my table cloth sized sweater to the E+A team, it fit both of them. Most of my buds and I played it ‘G’ and stayed for both rallies mostly because we so impressed by the advanced choreography from the first one. Brotha Rich showed which made the whole damn thing way more bitchin, gotta love the OH SIX class and the brothers and this guy and why not Laustoo. And no, I didn’t forget the ladies the booty sammiches keep gettin bigger and bigger, fine by me. I think our friend would agree
I am lookin for more/new cool sites to affiliate with, I got buttons up the ass that you can use, peep em here, if your interested e-mail me at [email protected] . Also, you can use any of those buttons on your MySpace.
Also, I’m hopin to get some ideas for NBHQ shirts together, and I’m hopin to sell the bad boys for dollars on the dollar, so flip your cusions and crack your piggys, or sell yourself, you don’t wanna be the only cat on the block not rockin his/her NBHQ tee.
One last thing – check out the photographical portfolio of our boy Chris “China” Wong, click here to check it.
– Small Ass Waist
– Napoleon Jr.
– Prison Tour
– Aqua Car
– George W. Rag Doll
– How to be A Ninja