The Fair & The Puppy
No, Tina hasn’t squeezed out any little ones lately, but I did look after a little puppy poodle / cockerspaniel / shitsu this weekend, quite a task to undertake. The little cockapooshit is only a couple weeks old and it’s still nameless, but after it pissed in my girls mouth, I was considering Robert Kelly. Other than that lil incident, the little blacky was quite a hit with the ladies, she wooed Ash and serenaded Em. I was cool with her, she bit the skin on my neck a buncha times, which was a little less than pleasent but who could get mad at a face like this. Long / cute story short, me mum and I are both allergic to the lil mutt so we kicked her little button nose to the curb. That’s the end of that chapter.
Ahhh the annual San Mateo County Fair, home of the footlong corn hunk of ass on a stick, the triangle basketball rim game, and a bunch of cracked out carnies. Now I’ve missed out on a couple years of the local festivities, and from the looks of things, I’ve really been missin out. Shit I done went two nights in a row it was so hoppin! First night with my lovely gal pal, second night with the boys. Thirdly I write full sentences. Beautiful assortment of bovine at the livestock exhibit this time around, not to mention the pork hopefuls, I couldn’t resist reaching down to pet one of the lil oinkers, Eebs preferred his little pony. Meanwhile, Joe was gettin fresh with the ginormous stuffed bunny in the middle of nothing outside. We tried hustlin the hustlers but failed miserably and lost at least 5 bucks a piece on dumbshit carny games. I tried feverishly tryin to win my girl some second rate piece of plush, but the greasy rock fiend carny mocked my efforts. Joe dropped another 10 bills on the most mutant lump of chicken I’ve ever seen on a stick that could barely support the weight. Take notice to the creamy citrusy beverage in his left hand, purchased due to my influence, if you recognize this cup of goodness as an Orange Julius, I wish to be your friend. Orangue Julius’ kick ass.
I’m finally makin hella progess on the new layout, I wanna release before September, no promises, my birthday is on Thursday, should be crackin. Stay tuned, bitches.
– Put your mouse over the gals
– 3 Second Pop Tarts?
– Bigass Fish
– Mythbot
– Lamest Black Metal Pics/a>
– My weekend car
Summer Wind
It’s been a buncha hot days since I’ve my back fat has stuck to the sticky black leather of my executive night sky black office chair and poked away at my keyboard. Ten of these blazing days I spent learning how to water-ski, admiring geese, and pickin up hotties in the beautiful Lake Tahoe. This is my second time out there, first time was with eebs. This time definately had its perks, gettin to wake up to my girl on the norm, lettin the sun scar my corneas out of dreamland, I am my own biological timepiece, the corona, my alarm clock. Speakin of that lil relentless yellow blistering ball of heat, I, being of honkey decent, living in a body plagued by freckles, moles, and various other types of dermatological wonders, I am what you would call “prone to sun damage.” Being, 6,500 feet closer to the sun than in good ol San Mateo, might also be a contributing factor to why my skin pigment illuminates to a glowing shade of red, we can expect a full peel any day now. So a lotta days were spent out on the lake on my noble aquatic steed, the baddest of the bad wave runner galloping to speeds over 50 mph guaranteed to disturb the tranquility of my fine feathered friends…
I tried tubing a couple times, and promptly came to the conclusion that it was not intended for the male gender or any other halfway-gender with protrusive components, lotta slapping of the goods goin on… Julia did it like a G and made me ashamed of my testicles and assorted manhood. That girl is a crazy ass driver on that jet ski too, hurled my ass off it the first time we went on it, betcha wish I took a pic of that shit eh? Too damn bad Jack. This is a 14 ft long anaconda snake skin, I will answer no questions on the matter. This is McKenna burying my foot alive, and here’s a rare sighting of a bunny in twilight. Spent some days with volleyball superstar Katie Hurley, she’s a pussy. She’s 5’10, we shot the shit about living as giants among the dwarfs, she really wanted to make sure I put this picture online and I respect the wishes of my freakishly tall sister. She tried tubing and held on the whole time, and managed to stay afloat. Kudos. 
I ask you now, my undying legion of dedicated fans and followers : have any of you heard of a “Junebug”? Insectile, ball of hiss, teeth, talons, with wings about the size of Cahill, bigass fucker. One of those bugs that you can hear before you see god damn helicopter. Anyway, I spent this year’s 4th of July over there, peeped some superior works of fire, along with this fine flame thanks to Drew and his irresistable lumberjack skills we ate the obligatory yearly meal of hotty dogs, ribs, chicks, corn, steaks, the best eats I’ve had in a damn while. Big ups to chefs for that. So as the eve wore on, and the rockets’ red glare, the bombs bursting in air subsided, we treated into my 10-day home and watched in amazement as my ladies momma bust out her samurai sword and warn that she’d cut a bitch if the need beckoned. 
A buncha days were spent on the boat, I liked the boat, took neat pictures on the boat, and Katie sucks ass at trying to get on the boat. We went on a hike, saw a fat black spider on the hike, I also saw and tasted snow, and ya better believe I dint hesitate to slide down that ish along with Julia’s cousin Lucas who bears a STRIKE resemblence to the kid from that christmas movie. All and all it really was the best damn vacation I’ve had in a long while, pickin up hotties, so havin a hot girlfriend is pretty much the best times, even if I hafta help her groom herself
So since I’ve been back home, sweating my balls off, I have been the victim, yet again, of a malicious assault on my hallway. The culprits at large chalked the entire entryway, everywhere, and than had the nerve to leave their French calling card. Damn hooligans.
Had a few people over the other night, Pinky and me thunk up the idea to stuff a buncha modified Piccolo Petes ( fireworks ) inside this here computer, but than got sidetracked and ended up in the pool with Emily, and the lord of the rings, Ash’ms. At first I had those beezies right where I wanted em…The tables quickly turned, and I was swiftly kicked in the wall, she didn’t waste any time latchin onto my hand with her sharpass grill, check out my Emily bite, brutal eh? What Emily DIDN’T know was that I am quite skilled in the art of croc handling and went straight for her powerful mandible was wearin her like a glove. 
Than Bobs, Brandan, and Caitlin swung by. Ash put her painting on pause to braid Bran’s long ass hair, while Emily painted Bobs’ face. Than they both did me, reminded me of my time spent in juvy…Anyway, we looked awesome, and Brandon looked pretty bitchin himself with his newfound braids. So a couple hours later, when the fellas went to leave, the car wouldnt start, tried to jumpstart the thing with no avail, as if Brandon knew what the ass he was doin anyway. The Bobs sprung Colin a ring and within minutes, he had em runnin T-H-E fuckin END.
From now on I wont take so long to post, All Apologies. Check out the views gallery if your into breathtaking scenery and eye-opening sunsets.
– Bruce Lee Training Video
– Make Your Own Comic Strip
– Crates and Barrels
– Suction Head Man
– Typewriter Artist
– Scariest Dog Ever
Not a Bad Three Days Eh?
Well, I should probably start this post by apologizing to my very important fans, more specifically : Ash’ms, Em and Megan. Lets see now, so much happend since the last school bells wrang, since I scribbled in my last god damned bubble. Last couple days of my Junior Year, I brought my camera snapped ones with my boys and another one throwin up the pinky. Heres one of Mr. Dennis and I depicting our vast heigh differential. One last glimpse at this sexy mofo, one last hoorah with The Murph, one last chuckle as Pat shits himself trying to get 9 tonnes up on the bench, one last sight of Oliver lit off his ass, these pics speak forever though< (103 pics ). Congratulations Class of 2005, you will be missed, we’ll be sure to take care of your school for ya.
Bare with me now, the whole NBHQ Photo Gallery has been beefed up to contain more than ONE THOUSAND photos, more than 200 of which have been added within the last couple of days, so I got a lot to post about ;P. I’ll try to make things as chronologically accurate as my dwindling state of mind allows ( it is now 1:40 A.M. ). Second to last day of school was spent with 3 of my favorite ninja ladies, eatin at my favorite, La fuckin Cumbre, *(Voted All-Time Best Burritos in the World by Me)*, some girls spill on they selves, others get their loones hyked up past they’re titty balls. Either way, there was a whole lot of girl on girl on girl action which might have kinda grossed out Em or…made her turn japanese?. I no know. After burriton consumption, and a car ride, in a car that is very much “the sex”, we were back at Ashleys pad, where Emily bit off a large slab of my ass, it was nasty, Jill couldn’t even watch there was ass chunks and hair everywhere. And then! She had the nerve to yell at me, belleeeee dat? So..unnecessarily long story short, Ashley has a meth lab downstairs, along with a strong liking for Nina Campos and Asuka Cheeba.
Last Day of School, I really wouldn’t know much about cause I dint go. Now if you were to ask what I did instead of sincerely thanking each and every one of my teachers for a fun-filled, fantastic, fabulous, year I visited one hellova beach with, yeh you guessed it, those same, great 3 ladies. That ish was joyous if I do say so myself, they frolicked, they larked and so on. Oh did I mention carried all the equipment essential for boisterous activities? There was a dead bird, we buried the dead bird and gave him a pimpass memorial site. It was pretty hot at the beach, but the wah wah? Cold as my poodles nose, and equally damp. Cold enough to make Ashley shiver and Em shimmer it’s true, girls fear the h20 and have the cooties. Lot more lip action goin on too, and posin and posin more posin and holy cow, another pose struck. Wull sooner than later the boys made their rallying appearance, with Cahill’s pineapple ass behind the wheel. Got our balls out and kept that shit wild style, frisbees were thrown, foosballs caught, and bodies buried. Yep, that much is true, while these lads dug for the good of the Bee Bee Q, everyone else was busy burying me and shaping and reshaping my perky sweater muffins. Shortly after, harnessing herculean=like strength, I busted free of my sandy confines and skipped down into the wah-wah.
From there it was all cartwheels and NBHQ Appreciation time, not to mention pussified attempts at trying to catch a damn frisbee. Some of us brought the party in the little girls room, and that was cool. Meanwhile, Oompy guarded the wiener supply with the poker firmly gripped, oh did I mention Ooompy is a G. John-boy and Sheila came later, which is cool, cause I do enjoy piggy back rides and long meaningful walks on the beach so…that’s a hot combo. Male shot at the table, really cool backshot, and one more throwin up the pinky. Click here to see all the pics from the beach ( 69 pics ).
Same night, well keep in mind that I got a Pinky amount of Pink at the beach so my skin was a little…”tender.” Meg, Ash, Eebs and I went to a show in the city with Nurses, ReeveOliver, Vendetta Red, and Finch. The line damn near wrapped around the block, and inside it was almost as crowded as my teeth! No matter, Vendetta Red really really kicked ass, I think they were my favorite of the night. Reeve was pretty sick too, MAsh took a pic with the dreamy frontman and I got one with “O”. Finch hit the stage and we all got pretty damn close to em, cept for Matt, who was knee deep in mosh. I was tryin my hardest to keep the girls out of the kinetic mass of sweaty flesh that surrounded us, helps to be a big fuck in a crowd, I tell you what. We seriously were pretty damn close, close enough to count the spit bubbles on this guys tongue, I think that dude kinda looks like a lizard, or some other reptile, jus a thought. Anyway, Finch kicked mad ass I liked when the singer did the chicken dance that was neat. If your a fan of close up pictures and / or spit bubbles, Click here to see all the pics of the Finch / Vendetta Red / Nurses / ReeveOliver show ( 30 pics ). By the way, for the love of god, do not wear sandals to a finch concert. So I guess you can say…I left my toenail in Sannnnnn Frannnciscooooooooo
First day of summer the Marauder mobile rolled up on my block, picked me up like that one guy did to that one girl and then broke her choler bone :P. Thanks to Eebs for lettin me use his wicked axe and ampli-muh-fyer to play the music with the likes of Colin crawford, Joe Callhiou or however the ass you spell that ish, and the multitalented Ian Crawford oh and Courtney took great pictures, thanks Miss Walton. Joe ripped this roast beef sammich a new one. Click here to see all the pics from the Jam w/ the Marauders.
Well holy crap I think im almost done, aside from the scenic pics I took at the beach which you should probably look at. Not a bad 3 days eh? This summer is shapin up to kick a lot of well toned ass, and I plan to dip everything in creative juices and jus let that shit simmer for a bit. Oh and I do plan on gettin a new layout up before July (hopefully). Other than that, I’ll try update more pages, and keep listenin to the NBHQ Radio I add tracks to that thing all the time. Celebrate bitches.
J M M
– 10 Ways The Earth might be destroyed
– THAT SUCKS
– Dead eyes
– Mr. Coe’s MySpace
Weather is Sweet, Make You Wanna Move Your Dancing Feet
Well, well, well, thought I was gonna leave ya’ll high and dry, postless and weeping! Ya’ll thought wrong and clever and covertly I deliver, while you are all dreaming and sleeping. Luau dance last night, symbolizing another year of high school coming to an end. Encouraging students to celebrate their last hoorah accordingly and “emphase butt to crotch, or crotch to crotch” dancing skills while gettin our “grope” on knowing full well that “hands should remain off the floor during dancing.”
Miss Ashley was kind enough to offer her abode as a beautification location and even supplied us all with mouth-watering, sausage ( jus what Eebs ordered ). Though it was far from a sausage-fest, lassies out the ass! Why heck! I dun even got me summa dem ladyfolk to dun do my dew so I don’t look like no foo. Meg looked constipated, but dashing nonetheless, Ryder musta rode in on the pretty train cause she looked nice, Natalie, shown here soon before she kept shit fresh with Sugar-Free Orbitz gum. Don’t think we didn’t pose though, cause we did, I’m talkin a lot, like…amultidude of pose shots. I posed with that Meg girl, I posed with my boy Eebs, posin everywhere…
Dusk was soon upon us and we began our short stroll up to the school, taking bitchin pics along the way, of course. Eebs and I employed our sheer size and imposing demeanor to power our way to the front of the line, ensuring our female company wouldn’t have to wait so long thus having more time to shake what they mommas gave em. The line was were it was at anyway lotta familiar faces, you know im down with NPC, ( cause you know me ), my boys : John & JoJo, oh and, you remember the rumors about this guy at that one dance? — There true. Damn Greeks.
After shootin the shit with my buds and buddettes for some quick minutes, we made it inside the outside, caught up with my comrade Cahill and his gal, Joyce, spotted Pinky’s girl, and even took a second pic that would put picasso to shame. Hella heads last were there I do declare, Carlos rated quite high on the pimp-o-meter, as did my boy, Fej. The setting sun made for some pretty righteous shots. Twas a nice dance indeed, I dig Luaus, and pigs, and hot straight-haired girls ;). I gotta say, it was a good dance, and I have a confession…JoJo emptied his piss gun on your lawn, sorry bias.
So I was gonnna make a whole post about this some days ago but lazyness got the best of me and here I am stuffin your little faces with it here and now. So CSM / College of San Mateo, hosted a free lil concert open to anyone who could afford the price of a ticket. They call it the Electronic Music Show cause it was kinda like a presentation of all the final projects of students enrolled in Electronic Music 101, which is cool, cause, I like things. Of course I invited miss Nat Queen Cole, and yes she is the same girl whose cholar bone I busted :S. The real reason I went was to go see Carlos’s band, Extinction or somethin, I wanted to get those guys on film. Instead, I ended up filmin a bittle lit of a bunch of the acts and I share the video with you now :
Oh, remember how I said I ran the Bay to Breakers? Well, in case there are any skeptics, check out the proof. These pics were takin with the cameras mounted at the 6 and 7 mile marker along with the finish line. Heres one more of me tryin to rep the NBHQ beater as hard as I can, and I do think those people behind me are nekked. thats my pops. This is a duck-billed platypus and thats a naked ass bear.
My pools heated, Pinky brought his sunburned ass neck over. He had the new Star Wars flick on DVD, so we watched that, I thought it was lotsa awesome. Although I’m not as big of fan as Sanchez here I made the nastiest smoothie ever, strawberries and milk…you’d think that be like…a milkshake or somethin right? Well no one told me it jus turned into chunky pink liquid ass. Ya live and learn. Anyway, one of Pinky’s many hidden talents is his insane ability to beatbox, like no one else that I know, so we made lil flick to showoff his skills :
– NBHQ History
– girlfriend fight simulator
– amish porno
– crazy ass star wars merch
– Darth Vader Can Read Your Mind!