Search results for eebs

High and Dry, Buffalo and My, My, My…

Well yer I jus gert berk frerm Tahoe, but first I gotta post boot some unfinished buidness.

First and foremost, summerschool is way over no more wakin up at the cracka crack of dawn (9:00). Lookin back on it, it wasn’t all bad, havin Randy as my own private chef was the shit, Big R’s got the talents. Although scarfin down jurassic omlettes on the norm does jurassic things to your cholesterol, I’m plumpin up quite nicely. Jolly good. Anyway, the last day of summa skizzle, I had my first babysitting job, the victim you ask? Little Whamo, I would respond. Now for those of you who haven’t been fortunate enough to make Big Whamo your aquaintance I would urge you to do so. But in case your skills of inference have gone like the wind Little Whamo is indeed the little brother of Big Whamo / Tim Swartz. The kids aboot three and a half, and didn’t stop moving for the few hours he was over. The solution? Whip out my old batman costume See Lil Whamo in action here (video).

So the same day Kelsie was over and I felt it necessary to give the gift of fruitball to her, and I must say, she looks pretty hot witha batting glove and bat in hand, and very dangerous. I’m sorry to say I don’t have any footage of the actual peach-bashing taking place, although you can take my word for it that my girl can blast some produce meng. Anyway, after about four minutes of concentrated fruitball action we had to refuel with a bagel (chocolate chip), and a cake. Three bites of the cake later, she had collasped on the couch, kinda weird how she sleeps in poses huh? 😛 Throughout that day my mom was actin a ‘G the whole time, gots ta be reppin 650 bia bia. Oh and if you notice her hand, we had to tape her fingers like that cause she can’t make that sign, har de ha ha. Oh and the hat you ask? Won that in Santee Cruz, at the Boardwalk, the ‘ol guess how fast yer gonna throw the third pitch, three guesses, and six bucks later, it was Kelsie who guessed the lucky 74mph and VOILA, the pimp hat was mine. **Forget what I said about not having footage heres da Sugah in action fakin me out (video) & swing anna miss (video).**

Ok so that was like three weeks ago I know, now lemme talk about the week I jus had in Lake Tahoe. Anyone who has every had the pleasure of truckin up to Truckee or bringin their sugar to Sugar Pine knows how bitchin of a place it is. The scenery is jus…(not to sound corny) breathtaking, everywhere you go your encircled by the immense woodlands and you can catch a glimpse of the crystal clear waters whereever you go. If you wondering where I stayed, rest assured (as I did) that our accomodations were more than suitable, and by more than suitable I’m talkin a 3-story cabin with TV’s in all 5 or 6 rooms, pool table downstairs, 3 decks, nice ass bathrooms, a deer head AND a trash compacter la cocina :D. As for the daily activities, well folks that all ranged from powering down Sugar Pine river inna inflatable raft to pretending to know how to wakeboard. Scopin stars wiff Eebs, jammin wiff Eebs, shootin pool with Eebs, doin it all with Eebs. The Barons were there the first day, so we gots to get worked at the table by Nick Baron himself. Yep, one thing that was a total trip aboot Tahoe or at least the wildlife, was the fact that there wasn’t a single squirrel, but the place was loaded with these lil Alvin, Simon and Theodre chipmunk fucks, and it was pretty crazy how many butterflies were outside chillin, Eeb’s theory is that it’s matin season, so the butterflies are jus dancin around till they find anutha supafreak to get down with. There were so many of these lil buggers around that some actually made there way in the house check out my video of em (kinda choppy).

It was my first time up therr to Tahoe, and I got a lot of firsts out of the way, like..1.) the whole thinkin I have the motor skills and/or coordination necessary to stand upright on a wakeboard being slowly tugged aboot by boat, it was cool anyway, and nah Eeb’s couldn’t get his 6’4 (and a quarter) ass outta the water either. 2.) I got to try buffalo wings, kinda weird how I’m almost 16 and my tastebuds had never been invited to the spicy buffalo wing party, thats the shame of the game meng. 3.) On our last night there I gotsta get my grubs on with some actual buffalo meat in the form of some gerd arse steak, but come to think of it, it was damn good eats the whole time I was there.

Another crazy dealio aboot Lago de Tahoe was the insane altitude and lack of humidity. I was NOT diggin that aspect of it, I prolly came across as the most jumbo spaz sportin nosebleeds, and …jumbo spazness. Oh and my doo! My precious hair, got all outta whack and got all straight & thin, prolly cause it was jus so damn dry outside than as soon as I step outside the car when we get back to good ‘ol Mateo it turns into this. Insane.

Overall I’d hafta say that Lake Tahoe with Eebs and co. had to be one of the most badass trips of my days, and bein there wiff my bro Eeb’s jus further amplified the bitchiness, and I think the only way to end a my 2 cents on the trip would be including this flattering photograph of Matthew Ebert knuckle-deep in his own rectum.

So that was than, and today is today, woke up as early as my dad was late to pick my up and haul me over to Tracy, CA to my Uncle’s pad so I could pick up this thousand dollar racing bike that I’ve been lookin forward to. On the way there we spotted this bloke on the road, and I instinctively tooka lil video of the wasian (white-asian-wannabe). Yeah and my cousin D-rel was therr as well cool cat if ya ask me, and my Uncle…well check out these pics of him in his dept of homeland security gear and try…jus TRY to tell me he aint the baddest mudda round dem parts. Yep, so we went Kayaking in the morning, and I went home with this bike crazy colors eh? I would concur.

Yeh so I hope your glad im back to posting, Pinky did his duty but I think its time he go on hiatus:

Jah Suhm Tings

Don’t call it a comeback, ive been here for days,
Been layin low, keepin my song silent in so many ways,
Coastin on this ride, gliding on this wire
Whinin to the chief, reason has yet to inspire

Sorry I havent posted inna yiddle yit, been busy with
the better things, but I been keepin it real. I like to apologize to mah boy Eebs and my sista Ash’ms cause they be numero uno fans of my hanus site, and for their loyalty and utter devotion to me, I am grateful. Don’t know why im so tired right now, but im kinda stickin to this leather chair and its startin to smell somethin fierce.

Speakin of smellin somethin fierce, howzza bout Eebs sportin the lobster-smellin new ride. Thats right bitches, Matthew Ebert jus bought his very first car, is it sick you ask? Is it sexy? Does it melt in your mouth? Does it fit in your hand? Neh my friends, well…it is sexy, and sick and it does melt in your mouth, but that thing I said about it fitting in your hand, well…that was jus mindless slander. For that I apologize… Anyhoo, Eeb’s ride has many-a-perks, for example, premium boston acoustics soundsystem, with a 10 disc CD changer in the rear, right were my boy Eebs loves it. Its got automatic everything EVEN WINDOWS, and heres the killer…are you ready? For the killer? Ok enough warning here it is…Martha fawking SEAT WARMERS!. Are they good? They ask me..are they good? Well my friends let my expression speak for itself. Sweet ride Eebs

Yeah, did I mentioni hafta go to summa school? No im not takin advanced classes to broaden my horizons, no im not getting a headstart on the lil bitches behind me, no sir, for you see…I am the little bitch behind YOU. Let my GPA speak for itself. So I guess Harvard can wait. But summer schools a drag man, no matter what way you look at it, everyone there speaks tongan, everyone is packin WAY more heat than I am, and..for me…2(3x + 5 -17x) + 34 – 3x still equals I DONT GIVE A SHIT even in the summer, so…you can take that juris-my-diction garbage, and cram it up your ass.

If ya notice in the runs section, there havent been any updates since Bay to Breakers, the reason for this, is that I havent been runnin with my dad, and hes the camera man, so…I go solo. I run everyday, around CSM, sometimes a few times, take the backroads home, and go wee wee wee all the way home. Man oh man, I tell ya what though, my feet still have the dead layers of skin that were hangin off my foot around mile 6 of the Bay to Breakers. Nastee.. Luckily I got these lil puppies that give my lil piggies a well deserved break, yes indeed. Yes…indeed.

One more thing before I go, I have been keepin my ear to the wall lately and may I jus say…Velvet Revolver you rock my fuckin world. In case ya dint know, these guys are Guns ‘n Roses without the ego / Axl Rose. And in case you really dint know, GNR totally rocked, and they rock even more without the glittery diva / Axl Rose holdin em back. Its great stuff. Slash still knows how to work it and that cigarette still never manages to fall out of lips no matter how hard he bangs his head. Slash is a true pimp.

Paco’s Days

Pac man, where has the time gone? Three days have come and past, sucks the shit that today had to be our last. Hope you had an ok time stayin herr wiff, I hope the east wing of my estate suited you adequetly. So lets recap our day:

Woke up, at like..noon? I don’t know, maybe that was jus me. 😛 We met up with Leo. Cody strolls in my room and shares his word of the day with me. I happen to disagree with it however, and scolded him harshly. Leo agreed with me and had a little sit down with Sir Paco. Needless to say, Leo was disgusted with Cody’s behavior! Leo had to leave early cause he had a baseball game to lose against Burlingame, sad but true. Dawkness can through a ball though, ya damn right…better than yours..

Anyway, afters Leos tearful departure, Cody and I had the urge for metal. So I pack my axe and we head over to Ebert’s pad. Now anyone who has ever heard me and Ebert play in the same room will tell you he rocks my shit way hardcore-er than me. And he looks lika fucking stud when he plays too, and yes ladies, hes free…very free.

And den, after the rockin was through we got to pingin the pong. It was fun. We practiced safe pinging above all. Eebs watched in horror as I continued to embarass Cody and ping the shit out of his pong. I hope that one day I can achieve the same kind of Ping Pong stardom that Matthew Ebert has achieved. I asked him about the methods to his ping ponging mayhem, he left me with: “Keep it clean”.

Cody and I than were homeward bound, I hopped..
Cody gimped. And den we got home and met up with OH GOOD GOLLY miss Molly. We had malice on the mind and our mind on the CD players we planned on hitting with baseball bats. But I insisted that I get to drive Molly said no because I was a “liability” whatever that means :P. She hits like a sheep anyway. haha jussss kidding Miss Molly. You can still that bendy thing WAY better than I can. Anyway, it was hella windy and my insane hair kept blowin in my face, so I asked Cody if he had a hair tye, but apparently he didn’t this time, so I hadta mooch one offa Molly again. Aint that a kick in the face? Yeh, and Molly swung atta pinecomb. Cody swung at that lil container of lime juice. Oh yeah, than we went in the tunnel

Yeh so after we hit alla dat shiot, we went back inside where Miss Molly challenged me to a battle of the bending, a flex-off, a dousche duel! Physically Molly and I are very much alike, each of us are about 5’3″ give or take and I too went all-state for my cheerleading skills, but she jus has a lil more experience in the field of flexibility. But ya know…I still hella won. And that was that :D.

So than everyone left, and it was jus me and Paco again, and it was time for the main event. Since it was Cody’s last night in the state, I thought I should give him the rubdown with some California love and some California Cookin. He and I ate the following:
>>Triple Decker graham crackers with peanut butter in the middle with whip cream slopped all over.
>>Wootermelon
>>Finger
>>Pizza and Ice Cream
>>Whip Cream
>>More of those graham cracker things
>>More wootermelon
>>Paco Pie

Yeah if your still with me, after readin all that shiot and lookin at all that shiot, Sign this petition to get free period back in high school!!

a