Bowling Night
Monday equals Disco Bowlin @ Bel Mateo, which means the ladies get wild and ten whole frames of outrageous entertainment! I enjoyed the shoes, but did not enjoy how my fingers smelled after I withdrew them from the three ball holes, that was pretty gross actually. It was decided that we would bust out the bumpers cause my game, though usually impeccable, has gotten a tad rusty, and even than, I had trouble unleashing my athletic fury cause Emily kept throwin off my motion! Whatever, I bowled a strike through Ash’s legs anyway. I liked these balls cause they looked like big cool watermelons, and besides, being the only male present meant that I had to constantly remind my female company of my masculinity so I had to be sure to get the heaviest balls knaw mean? Ash and Em still thought I was a dousche though. To my surprise and delight, my woman could roll a bowl like no mans buidness, hot. Took time for posin too, and plenty of it. Megs hella good, Ash had a little swagger to her windup, and Taylor knocked down a buncha pins everytime but I don’t think she even meant to. Great clapper though.
Other than that fun-filled night of knockin down pins, I really haven’t really been up to much. Saw some flicks, Dark Water which is basically about a mother and daughter who suffer from a extreme and irrational fear of their own apartment’s lowly plumbing system, I wouldn’t recommend it. Saw War of the Worlds, reminded me of those “Zords” that the power rangers would fight putties in, most of the praise surrounding the movie revolved around the groundbreaking special effects and what not, but a “special” effect really isn’t “special” if it is apparent in virtually every frame of the motion picture. So theres my 2 cents.
I went to the gym today and benchpressed 260 pounds, I also pulled a gigantic tick from the armpit of my dear poodle, Tina. I got another haircut, and so did these two ladies. I got 83 pictures developed at longs for 20 cents a piece.
I upgraded the photo gallery to the current version, and tweaked the comment system a bit, so be sure to COMMENT ON THE PICTURES MORE. That is all, do it now.
– Straight Outta Compton Remix (Rare)
– Harry Potter Spoiler
– Crazy Forehead Man
– tourrettes guy
– Peter Griffin Lives!
Summer Wind
It’s been a buncha hot days since I’ve my back fat has stuck to the sticky black leather of my executive night sky black office chair and poked away at my keyboard. Ten of these blazing days I spent learning how to water-ski, admiring geese, and pickin up hotties in the beautiful Lake Tahoe. This is my second time out there, first time was with eebs. This time definately had its perks, gettin to wake up to my girl on the norm, lettin the sun scar my corneas out of dreamland, I am my own biological timepiece, the corona, my alarm clock. Speakin of that lil relentless yellow blistering ball of heat, I, being of honkey decent, living in a body plagued by freckles, moles, and various other types of dermatological wonders, I am what you would call “prone to sun damage.” Being, 6,500 feet closer to the sun than in good ol San Mateo, might also be a contributing factor to why my skin pigment illuminates to a glowing shade of red, we can expect a full peel any day now. So a lotta days were spent out on the lake on my noble aquatic steed, the baddest of the bad wave runner galloping to speeds over 50 mph guaranteed to disturb the tranquility of my fine feathered friends…
I tried tubing a couple times, and promptly came to the conclusion that it was not intended for the male gender or any other halfway-gender with protrusive components, lotta slapping of the goods goin on… Julia did it like a G and made me ashamed of my testicles and assorted manhood. That girl is a crazy ass driver on that jet ski too, hurled my ass off it the first time we went on it, betcha wish I took a pic of that shit eh? Too damn bad Jack. This is a 14 ft long anaconda snake skin, I will answer no questions on the matter. This is McKenna burying my foot alive, and here’s a rare sighting of a bunny in twilight. Spent some days with volleyball superstar Katie Hurley, she’s a pussy. She’s 5’10, we shot the shit about living as giants among the dwarfs, she really wanted to make sure I put this picture online and I respect the wishes of my freakishly tall sister. She tried tubing and held on the whole time, and managed to stay afloat. Kudos. 
I ask you now, my undying legion of dedicated fans and followers : have any of you heard of a “Junebug”? Insectile, ball of hiss, teeth, talons, with wings about the size of Cahill, bigass fucker. One of those bugs that you can hear before you see god damn helicopter. Anyway, I spent this year’s 4th of July over there, peeped some superior works of fire, along with this fine flame thanks to Drew and his irresistable lumberjack skills we ate the obligatory yearly meal of hotty dogs, ribs, chicks, corn, steaks, the best eats I’ve had in a damn while. Big ups to chefs for that. So as the eve wore on, and the rockets’ red glare, the bombs bursting in air subsided, we treated into my 10-day home and watched in amazement as my ladies momma bust out her samurai sword and warn that she’d cut a bitch if the need beckoned. 
A buncha days were spent on the boat, I liked the boat, took neat pictures on the boat, and Katie sucks ass at trying to get on the boat. We went on a hike, saw a fat black spider on the hike, I also saw and tasted snow, and ya better believe I dint hesitate to slide down that ish along with Julia’s cousin Lucas who bears a STRIKE resemblence to the kid from that christmas movie. All and all it really was the best damn vacation I’ve had in a long while, pickin up hotties, so havin a hot girlfriend is pretty much the best times, even if I hafta help her groom herself
So since I’ve been back home, sweating my balls off, I have been the victim, yet again, of a malicious assault on my hallway. The culprits at large chalked the entire entryway, everywhere, and than had the nerve to leave their French calling card. Damn hooligans.
Had a few people over the other night, Pinky and me thunk up the idea to stuff a buncha modified Piccolo Petes ( fireworks ) inside this here computer, but than got sidetracked and ended up in the pool with Emily, and the lord of the rings, Ash’ms. At first I had those beezies right where I wanted em…The tables quickly turned, and I was swiftly kicked in the wall, she didn’t waste any time latchin onto my hand with her sharpass grill, check out my Emily bite, brutal eh? What Emily DIDN’T know was that I am quite skilled in the art of croc handling and went straight for her powerful mandible was wearin her like a glove. 
Than Bobs, Brandan, and Caitlin swung by. Ash put her painting on pause to braid Bran’s long ass hair, while Emily painted Bobs’ face. Than they both did me, reminded me of my time spent in juvy…Anyway, we looked awesome, and Brandon looked pretty bitchin himself with his newfound braids. So a couple hours later, when the fellas went to leave, the car wouldnt start, tried to jumpstart the thing with no avail, as if Brandon knew what the ass he was doin anyway. The Bobs sprung Colin a ring and within minutes, he had em runnin T-H-E fuckin END.
From now on I wont take so long to post, All Apologies. Check out the views gallery if your into breathtaking scenery and eye-opening sunsets.
– Bruce Lee Training Video
– Make Your Own Comic Strip
– Crates and Barrels
– Suction Head Man
– Typewriter Artist
– Scariest Dog Ever
P-Lot Follies
It’s been too long since a proper chill session has been experienced with this fine sir and brother god damn dawkness! It was a fiesta convoy if I do say, and from the looks of things I’d say that the first crowd got a little head start on mind altering substances. And I aint talkin bout stoge love, no sir. So I guess Dawkness developed “control problems” since the last time I saw em, no matta, he could still pluck some strings and drive some cars. Lil Danny was in the lot too, goin crazy in Rich’s Neon, which is a sweet ass ride by the way.. Driving is pretty much the ish, and so is obeying the speed limit and respecting the law kids. Only YOU can prevent forest fires.
Anywhoo after an hour or so of dilly doolying in the parking lot, Bob’s and I cut out and rolled down the street to Laurelwood, which is pretty much a big deal place now. There’s a little more than oodles to do over there, you can shop for jerkey at the Rite Aid, kill yourself slowly at McD’s, laugh, and cry at the Hallmark store, or you could jus shoot the shit and take dumbshit pictures with the hallmark crown. We took sommore unintelligent pictures at CSM too, Bobby did some ballet or whatever while I stood, transfixed, gazing into the beautiful night sky that blanketed our town, I pondered, in a most profound manner…”Why is my ass eating my jeans?”…But uh, not all the pictures we took were horribly lame and devoid of any revelance to a structured chain of events, heres one of myself gettin me some sweet moon pie and Bobster tryin to break himself off some. Anyway, short, meaningless story long and drawn out ; we went to some other parking garage, Bobby ate a flame, smoked a stoge backwards ( 1.9 mb video ) and Oliver was pretty damn blasted.
This post has takin me DAYS to get through, not because I have spent time doing my best to formulate a concise recollection of important events that I feel neccesary to share with my legions of loyal viewers, NAY. It’s takin me minute upon minute to do this cause it’s summer time, the life? Easy. The pool? Heated. The girl? Hot. I got ish to do, tryin to get me a j.o.b. tryin to learn the ways of the road so I can drive myself to this j.o.b.
Happy Birthday Emily!
Anyway, the site is lookin pretty alright, I fixed the CSS issues myself, thanks to Leo and my host for trying to help me out. Installed the newest version of my guestbook so be sure to sign it, I also tweaked it to match the site more along with the photo gallery and radio. Jus check everything out.
I’m goin to be outta town with my beautiful girl, from the 30th through the 7th or somethin, so maybe I’ll get Pinky or someone to fill in for me, either way, I promise the next post will kick the ass of this post.
– Fuck yo couch
– Ginormous Catfish
– Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner
– What the fuhhhhh
– Fuck yo couch
– How much it would cost to be batman
– Ugly Animals
Heyyyyyy It’s Our Buddy!
I’ts been sommore of the same as of late, goin to the gym everyday, self breast augmentation seems to be the way to go, I am benchpressing my way to B-Cups, curling my way to stretched out shirts. Ruff stopped by the other night, we walked down the hill in hopes of salvaging a uneventful Wednesday night and returned home with no avail. We made the most of our time and I busted out the ‘ol nintendo from the garage with a couple vintage cartridges. It’s been quite a while since I fiddled with that little grey box of joy, I forgot what a laborious fuckin task it is to get that sonofabitch workin, and Ruff’s limited expertise were’nt makin things much easier. Hoppin on mushrooms made it all worth the while.
Other than that, I’ve been kickin it with The Marauders for some days and some eves. Ridin shotty to some late night fly rides in this beaut right here, but thats jus until my car gets out the shop, oh did I mention I’m drivin now? Permit status bia. Anyway me and the boys could have been seen hoppin around on the 5-story, makin a ruckus, hittin people with cars ( 6.9 mb video ) and what not. But mostly jus jumpin and posin. Than we have Joe, our fearless driver, notice his cholarraised for heightened douschness and even Ian is in agreeance on that one…Stick to what you know Joe, advanced car audio repair, and watch out for hungry trunks and people highly prone to picking other people up.
We had ourselves a little jam session as well, and I met Matty, pretty G for a bitch. I took this hella artsy pic of Ian looking like he’s about seven feet tall. Shortly after Ian returned the favor and took this equally artistic shot of me makin a fishy guitar face. Lotta soulful acoustic stuff, Ian hit his pad while Joe cuddled in the other room oblivious to hidden cameras. G’times I say!
So this is the new layout, dropped ahead of schedule right in time for the first day of summer eh? Don’t worry if it loads slow or some shit doesn’t look quite right, it still has a lotta kinks/bugs that I am in the process of working out, like the text link colors on every other page except for this one need to be fixed. Other than that though…pretty much all the content pages are up, and I updated a lot of em too, so go through and check out every page using the drop down menu. Especially the Videos Section and Reviews Section Keep checking back for updates though, and leave a comment and tell me what you think so far.
– he…raped..a.dog…
– Name that Oldass Game
– The GoodYear Blimp Crashed
– Ghetto Ass A.C.
– Korean Children’s Drawings
– Monster Potatoe Gun
– altoids mp3 player